During the summer of 2015, when Klarissa was beginning high school, my dad Larry fell and broke his neck. He suffered from Parkinson’s and due to complications of this disease, his bones had become brittle. After eight years of battling Parkinson’s, his current medication caused paranoia and nightmares. During one of his vivid nightmares, he fell out of bed hitting his head on a side table causing him to break his C4-C7 vertebrates paralyzing him from the neck down. My dad lived for a week after his fall, and he bravely made the choice to be removed from life support, not wanting our family to suffer through long-term care. I will always be grateful that our family had the gift of being able to say “goodbye” and be with our dad for his last breath. 

I will always be grateful that our family had the gift of being able to say “goodbye” and be with our dad for his last breath. 

Klarissa, age 10, and Poppi (my dad) devouring ribs on the 4th of July

As I mentioned earlier, my dad was an alum of PLNU, class of 1970, and the year of his death would have been his 45th college reunion. It broke our hearts to think that he would not be able to attend. As the time came for the reunion, my mom wanted to participate -but not alone, so I offered to escort her. The reunion was held in mid-November and in attendance were some incredible colleagues that my dad had gone to school with. One was my Uncle Jan along with a few others who I had met before. A certain alum that I spent the afternoon chatting with was Jim Johnson who happened to be my sister’s father-in-law. He was known for being a devoted psychology professor at PLNU who really saw his students and championed them into what was next. 

The reunion took place in a newer building we had never been in before. My mom and I were amused to discover that it was built on what had been the grassy lawn where my sister’s wedding reception was held, circa 1999. None of this seemed to matter at the time, but unbeknownst to me, it was a step toward what God had for our family. As I was leaving, Jim expressed how much he enjoyed conversing with me during the luncheon, and with a kind twinkle in his eye asked, “How can we have conversations like this more often?” and I quipped, “Sir, I need to get a job here.” He looked at me and said emphatically, “Ok, let’s work on that!”

Pictured from left to Right: Group Photo- class of 1970, my mom and I on the balcony of Draper Hall.

The following January, my best friend Molly and I were having lunch with a shared acquaintance to finalize plans for a women’s event for the church we all attended. She seemed a bit fidgety during our planning session and at the end, looked at us sheepishly and said, “I am not going to be able to help you with the actual event. My husband and I are moving to LA, and I’m quitting my job.” Her job was currently the Campus Visit Assistant in the Office of Admissions at… you guessed it… PLNU!! My immediate thought was, “I want her job!” I called Dr. Johnson later that day, told him the news, and asked if he could help me navigate this opportunity. He coached me on how to go about an interview. The job hadn’t even been posted yet, so all I could do was watch and wait. 

The position was posted, and I quickly applied. I later learned that my friend Molly, the Director of Housing at PLNU, along with Dr. Johnson, would drop by weekly to ask the Admissions leadership, “Have you hired Kelly yet?” I was slightly mortified but also flattered. At the end of February, I finally got an interview. I was so nervous since this was my first interview since college. My recent job was acquired because the current preschool director knew me, knew my credentials, and offered the job pending I complete an Infant Certification. The preschool position was a great transition into full-time work, but after six months, I realized I didn’t enjoy the long days in the preschool setting, working from 7:30 am until 6 pm. However, the newPLNU job offered flexibility, paid time off, and the possibility of substantial discounts on my children’s education at a school costing over $60,000 a year! “No pressure,” I thought. 

When the day of my interview came, I spent a few hours on the phone with Jim, who coached me on how to present myself in the best light since I needed to gain administration skills. I did have some background knowledge of customer service from working at the Ritz Carlton during college and my salon experience along with time as a multi-level marketer. My lineage of PLNU alumnus was a definite bonus, but I was uncertain how far that would get me. My husband coached me and taught me how to navigate some of the computer skills I would need, but he assured me that all of that could be taught and to “woo them with my personality.” 

he assured me that all of that could be taught and to “woo them with my personality.” 

I was instructed to make my way to Draper Hall and proceed downstairs where I would meet Wyatt, my potential supervisor. The university was a 35-minute drive from my house, without traffic. I took advantage of the car ride to pray and gather my thoughts with ample time to risk sweating in my blouse from sheer terror that I had no idea what I was doing. As I walked inside Draper Hall, I stopped dead in my tracks. It dawned on me that this was the very building where my dad’s reunion was held and, 10 feet from where I stood, was the very spot where Jim had stated he would help me find a job. A supernatural peace washed over my body, and I said to myself, “Holy crap, this is my job!” 

A supernatural peace washed over my body, and I said to myself, “Holy crap, this is my job!” 

With this knowledge, I floated downstairs to a small conference room where I met six-foot-four-inch Wyatt. He was 12 years my junior with experience as a student ambassador and now, having obtained a college degree, was thirsty to show the next campus visit assistant the ropes of admissions. His boss, Shannon, sat next to him. She had a dry sense of humor but was warm, and neither one made me feel too nervous. They began to ask me questions that I cannot recall except for one. Wyatt asked, “I am curious if you struggle saying no?” Apparently, it was a common pain point for Wyatt and his “people-pleasing” ways. I smiled and without hesitation said, “No. I have become very comfortable with saying no.” (I have three kids, remember.) I felt he was happy with my answer. Wyatt later shared with me that I had been very animated, and I might have even cried while talking about my dad, which was quite embarrassing. I waited a brutal 6 weeks for the call to come offering me the position of Campus Visit Coordinator. They had changed the position from assistant to coordinator because I would be taking a bit off of Wyatt’s plate. 

To say that my start in Admissions was smooth sailing would be a total lie. My commute was over an hour each way. I was terrified of being late, so I made sure to take my eldest daughter to school at 6:45 am then jet off to Point Loma to arrive at 8 am. If either of us were late it set off a trajectory of tardiness that neither could afford. Concerning my admin skills, I was only proficient in Facebook, Google Chrome, and email. I found a typing test widget on Google and spent time at the front desk testing my typing skills. They were atrocious. 

One time Wyatt asked me to dictate something while he was standing behind me. Let’s just say any headway I gained with my typing skills turned to mush with someone breathing down my neck. He told me a few years later that he had to go through every single Google calendar event I had created because I had capitalized the first two letters of every word. I still struggle with that!  But his question to me, “Can you say no?” definitely has proved to be one of my strengths. PLNU is very popular with visits and sometimes we are full or a parent asks “for the moon” with only a 24-hour notice and the answer has to be “no.” Even with these hiccups and setbacks, eventually, Wyatt and I got our groove. 

Wyatt and I with our first ambassador end-of-year party, Wyatt and I at our first CIVSA Conference.

However, my daughter wasn’t quite catching her stride. She struggled with math, and her grades tanked the minute she got overwhelmed. If she was behind in a class it would cause her to freeze and not ask for help. One day, I was frustrated with it all and upon recollection of my high school era, had committed to myself I would never take away a school activity as punishment from my kids. Theater and social activities were what motivated Klarissa out of bed every morning, and I never wanted to take away her “why.” So, I decided to take makeup away from her. Jon and I told her that not until her grades were back up and late work turned in could she have her makeup back. Well, that did it. She began to dig in again but not after putting on mascara which she found under the car seat or maybe lip gloss borrowed from a friend at school. Soon her grades were on the incline. As a parent, it can be delightful to discover when a discipline truly resonates with your child.

Every year that passed in high school was filled with tears and joy, especially with Kaiya and Jackson entering on her heels. Klarissa was a part of AVID, which helped her with organization skills, and we worked with the school to offer her learning assistance after discovering she had testing anxiety and issues with spatial relations. For example, if you gave her a math question she had just solved, she could not solve it again if it was presented differently. It was frustrating for her and us. She took on swimming alongside Kaiya, then pivoted to singing in the choir after a scary bout with pneumonia. She performed in school plays and was given the iconic role of Katherine from the Broadway version of Newsies with Jackson performing alongside his sister as Crutchie. As the senior year approached, we made incredible strides. She would graduate with a 3.2 GPA from her high school. The minimum for PLNU was 2.8 and the average was 3.9. She was thriving in theater and showcasing her vocals in musical theater. She applied, and I honestly felt like I couldn’t breathe until we knew what her fate would be. 

Klarissa as Katherine in “Newsies” This role would give her the drive to seek the Broadway stage.

On a Friday afternoon in December, my boss gathered the admissions staff together and presented me with Klarissa’s decision letter. When I opened it and learned the relieving news that she was accepted, everyone began cheering and popping poppers in celebration with me. I was so bewildered by the love and support everyone had shown our family. Jon and I decided to give the Acceptance Packet to Klarissa as an early Christmas present. With her siblings on the couch next to her, she opened the envelope, nearly holding her breath and reading the letter to herself. She looked up at us, tears glistening in her eyes exclaiming over and over, “I got accepted? I got accepted?!?!” Her little sister squeezed her hard knowing what a feat it had been to get in. 

She looked up at us, tears glistening in her eyes exclaiming over and over, “I got accepted? I got accepted?!?!”

Klarissa didn’t stop there. She knew that Broadway was her end goal and learned the music department offered generous scholarships with the prospect of covering her room and board. We reached out to a friend of the family who was a skilled vocal coach and PLNU alum to help her prepare for the vocal audition. A few weeks later we received news that she received a scholarship covering two-thirds of her room and board. It was truly a dream come true. 

Clockwise left to right: Graduation day, AVID pinning ceremony, Orientation at PLNU.

Klarissa graduated in 2019, so as you may guess, some of her college experience and acting opportunities were interrupted during COVID-19. However, she persevered and found ways to be creative by auditioning for film projects with current students and students of nearby universities. She became a tutor for a program called LEAP, an incredible program created for students who need assistance transitioning from high school to college. Klarissa had been a member of this program upon entering her college freshman year. It gave her the confidence she needed to complete that year with a 3.6 GPA!!  And people say college is harder than high school?!

Reflecting on the tears and joys of Klarissa’s high school journey and her acceptance into college, I am in awe that this chapter of her life has come to an end. This season allowed me and her weekly lunch dates, with Kaiya joining the following year. They invited me to dorm hangouts and more lunch dates. In Klarissa’s Junior year of college, Jackson joined and, like his sister, received a generous music scholarship for drums that assisted with his room and board. Klarissa and her little brother sang in the same choir, and he played the Bodhran drum in her senior recital. Despite her theater opportunities dwindling, Klarissa had a wealth of experiences as a member of the 50-voice choir called the Concert Choir. They traveled to places like Hawaii and Europe, with the European tour allowing her to visit over seven countries. After finishing the choir tour in Rome, she met up with Kaiya, and together they continued their adventure in Greece. Wow, it’s kind of ridiculous!

Klarissa’s Senior recital, she had to perform arias in French, Italian, and German. Jackson joined her on the Irish Bodhran drum as she sang Gaelic songs to celebrate her Irish heritage.

I could go on and on and on with stories of God’s goodness that showed up these past 8 years, but I could also list for you many frustrations and heartaches that occurred. Like the time Klarissa had to work a closing shift her freshman year at Chick-fil-A causing her to miss a school dance. Thinking there would be many college dances, no one could have foreseen COVID-19 would make one’s social life come to a screeching halt. Even her theater career came to a temporary end. That same year Klarissa struggled with depression, which led her to miss several Spanish classes. Her professor, showing little empathy, dropped her from the course, forcing her to repeat it. When life returned to some normalcy in her Senior year of college, she started working early morning shifts at Starbucks, causing her to again give up opportunities in theater productions since her shifts began at 4 a.m. It also took her five years to graduate for various reasons, testing her patience as she neared the end of her college journey but she didn’t give up. 

I could go on and on and on with stories of God’s goodness that showed up these past 8 years

I share this story as a reminder to myself and my beautiful daughter that we can carry a dream to fruition, but we can never predict the journey we’ll take to reach the finish line. I grew up around Christians who, when offering advice or seeking direction in their life, said things like, “I’m praying for God’s will,” “I’m waiting to hear God’s direction for my life,” or “I will pray that you hear God’s voice in this process.” None of these are particularly wrong to say, but after reflecting on almost a decade’s journey of seeking a path for my kids to attend and graduate college, and after lots of prayers sent up, there was no flashing billboard sign from God that said, “Go this way!” Looking back now, I see a pattern that Emily P. Freeman states best. “We don’t need to look for answers but look for the arrows.” If one can identify the “arrows” that point them toward the next step and muster the courage to follow them it can make decisions a little less stressful.

If one can identify the “arrows” that point them toward the next step and muster the courage to follow them it can make decisions a little less stressful.

Jon and I leaned into those arrows together. We leaned into arrows that I wholeheartedly believe God placed for us. God used people, connections, friendships, stories of legacy, and even grief to guide us. I have never been a fan of “Let go and let God” when it’s used just to wait for things to happen. I think one of our greatest gifts as humans is intuition and free will. Instead, use the statement to resist manipulating and muscling a situation and follow the arrows. I kind of imagine it like an animation: imagine there are pavers on a walking path leading you forward in life. When you step on the correct paver, it lights up, but if you step in the wrong direction it stays dull. Your instincts become quicker and better each time you step the “right way.” The good news? If you choose a dull paver, the world will not fall apart, it just may mean it will take you a little longer to get where you are going.

Being on the other side of this story I can look at the unpredictability of the journey and see the people and moments that shaped us, for better or for worse. I’m proud of our creativity as parents to help each kid graduate high school, and how we didn’t let working full-time disrupt our close-knit family dynamic. We made weeknight meals a priority and kept our Friday-Night-Family-Movie-Night tradition when possible. That period taught our kids independence since the new “world of mom working” didn’t allow me to drop what I was doing and bring them their lunch or forgotten homework. 

Through it all, I am forever grateful for how this journey allowed me wonderful opportunities: the opportunity to learn skills in leadership and ways to use my gift of hospitality and entrepreneurship; the opportunity to interact with my kids more in the season of college than in high school and the ultimate gift of seeing my daughter walk across the stage to receive her college diploma. I reveled in seeing Klarissa showcase her grit as she took each obstacle and jumped over it or busted through it. After all of this, we both now know to trust that God will place arrows in our path. It’s up to us to follow the arrows and see where the next adventures take us.

Left to right: Professional grad photo, shaking PLNU President Dr. Brower’s hand, the grandparents and our family

She did it! Graduation Day, May 4th, 2024

In dedication to my dad; Larry, aka Poppi. You would be so proud of your Klaire. Thank you for instilling in us a love for Jesus, a love for others around us, and above all, a love for your beloved PLNU.