Recently I read a blog called 6 Ways You Are Making Life Harder Than It Has To Be in the online magazine, Relevant. It had some great points on how to let go of unnecessary emotional baggage and to change our mindset to be more productive. There are a great many blogs out there on this topic. What I noticed about this particular blog was the way in which it spoke about Social Media.  The author said we are making life harder by being on social media way too much; which I know is no surprise nor a point to disagree with. He then went on to say, ” People used to go to their 10-year reunion and have to make it appear for one night that their life was amazing beyond belief. Now we’re trying to pull that appearance off every second of every day. It is an impossible crazy-making endeavor.”

I completely agree that social media can be addicting or a “life sucker”. It can even be a space where people bully each other or flat out lie about themselves. I myself am a facebook addict and I am not necessarily ashamed of it. Let me explain to you a few reasons why I disagree with the above quote.  I have lived 80% of my life without social media. So I know what life was like before Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and all the likes that came into play. No, I was never on MySpace, sorry. I am also a very social person. One of my Strengths according to the  Gallup Strengths Finder Test is Woo. It actually says, “People strong in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.” I personally don’t take it quite that far, but let me just say that Facebook, Instagram and SnapChat are my playgrounds. I love staying connected to people from all aspects of my life and making new friends along the way.

When you take Facebook at face value and focus on the part about showing up to your 10-year reunion has become our everyday practice, I get it. It poses a problem. Let me share with you another side of the coin. Since Facebook came into existence I have thoroughly enjoyed staying connected to people in all the seasons of my life. It had always just been a fun sidebar to life, until this past summer. Last July my father fell and broke his vertebrae. During the initial fall and the life-threatening reality of his injury, we began a FB page for prayer and keeping people in the loop. My dad was a well known minister in the Nazarene denomination and many people were concerned for him and my family’s well being. Over a thousand people joined the page. Many offered hotel stay for my mom, monetary gifts for food, and even communicated they were in the area and wanted to stop by. When the unthinkable occurred and my dad passed away just 7 days later; a gofundme account was created to help my mom, my siblings and all our children make the 2000 mile trek to Colorado, to my dad’s home town of Delta, to bury him. The morning following his death, family from near and far came to support us in our overwhelming grief. I remember distinctly that we didn’t have to spend a minute catching up with small talk or explain how it happened. We were able to talk and be in the present. It was beautiful and allowed us to truly be together.

3 years ago I joined a movement that a college friend started called, 30 Days of Real. For 30 days we were challenged to be authentic on Facebook or Instagram and hash tag our posts, #30daysofreal. For those 30 days my posts were as trite as “I hate homework more than my kids do.” to sharing openly about my struggle with rage. During that time people did not move away from me but drew towards me. From the mom in the PTA who saw me every day but never talked to me, to the fellow parent on the swim team, to having much more authentic friendships in my daily life. People were getting to know the real me and seeing things they struggled with themselves. They would cheer me on when I was feeling down and laugh at the craziness of life while raising 3 young children. It was an absolutely incredible and fulfilling experience. So much so, that I always strive to be positive and real in my posts to this day.

I guess you could say I am tired of people bashing social media or being made to feel guilty for being on it. Raise your hand if you give it up for lent every year. It’s hard when we see the crazies out there making a mess of it. I try to look at it and use it in a positive way and I encourage you to do the same. Even when it comes to my kids, I use it as a way to connect with them. Right now, my daughters are SnapChatting their trip to N.Y.C. and I get to follow along. I do understand in seasons of social unrest or the election, it can get a little crazy and make us all feel uncomfortable. Yet, each one of us can be the example on how to have a civilized conversation about hot topics. I was involved in one the other day and all parties walked away with a different perspective and didn’t lose respect for one another.  Let’s put it this way, it’s a lot like many other vices. Too much is not good for you and someone is always going to find a negative use for it. As for me, I’m going to try and use it for good and rejoice that this social butterfly has a place to land.